Brand?

In the early days of my career, I worked in Hollywood as a script analyst and writer for a variety of film production companies. My duties included detailed readings of incoming scripts, finding new writers, generating story ideas, and presenting my analysis and recommendations to development executives. This piece of script analysis was for a kids’ film being proposed by a major talent agency.
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TITLE: BOBBY AND THE CZAR	FORM: SP PAGES: 112
AUTHOR: BURT PRELUTSKY	PUBLISHER/DATE:
TIME: THE PRESENT	SUB BY: CHARLES LENHOFF
LOCATION: QUEENS, NY	SUB TO: CHRIS REHR
GENRE: COMEDY/DRAMA	ANALYST: STEVE BONI

Elements:

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LOG LINE: An orphan boy is befriended by a prominent NY gangster when he attempts to prevent the gangster’s mother from being mugged.

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BOBBY ELLIS (13) is an orphan boy who lives in a lousy part of Queens with his foster family, the KELTNERS. The Keltners are not good people. They have taken Bobby in because the state pays them to do so and everyone in the family― father FELIX, mother AGNES and especially pig-like son HARVEY― treat Bobby like a piece of dirt. Bobby, a plucky, honorable and intelligent kid, has little in common with the low-class Keltners and they punish him for it constantly as do most of the children at his school. Secretly, Bobby dreams of having a real and loving family.

On his way home from school one day, Bobby sees an old women being mugged. No one in the area seems to be helping her, so he rushes over and tries to stop two thugs from stealing her purse. The muggers are much older and bigger than the scrawny Bobby and they give him a bloody nose for his efforts. Nevertheless, MRS. ROCCO (70), a feisty Italian woman, proclaims Bobby a hero. He accompanies her to her home where he partakes of some delicious Italian cookies. At home, the Keltners berate him for getting involved in trying to help anyone.

Soon after the incident, a chauffeur shows up at the Keltner’s house and, to their amazement, takes Bobby to school in a limo. MICKEY, the driver, gives Bobby a large bag of Mrs. Rocco’s cookies and an envelope containing several thousand dollars in appreciation for what Bobby did. He is unhappy when Bobby refuses to take the cash. Bobby stops by Mrs. Rocco’s after school and tells her that all of the gifts are not necessary. On another day, Bobby is grabbed off of the street by two large men, DINO and FREDDY. He is tossed into a black sedan and taken to see BENNY ROCCO(late 30’s), Mrs. Rocco’s gangster son. Benny is distressed at Bobby’s unwillingness to accept favors. Bobby shocks the pushy man by questioning his entire modus operandi and finds an accomplice in the form of Benny’s savvy knockout girlfriend, LADDIE. Benny is taken by the young boy’s intelligence and willingness to speak his mind, however, and he becomes even more determined to make Bobby his friend.

So begins a relationship between Benny, Laddie and Bobby. This confounds the Keltners, especially Harvey, who is grabbed by some of Benny’s thugs and told that he will suffer if he continues to bully Bobby. An immediate change is seen in Harvey’s behavior. Benny buys Bobby all manner of new clothes, food, etc. Bobby continues his questioning of Benny’s lifestyle. He offers Benny uniquely insightful remarks about the sale of drugs, the nature of greed and all of their repercussions. Initially angered by Bobby’s brazenness, Benny eventually starts to open his mind and listen not only to Bobby, but to his undervalued girlfriend, Laddie. Pushed into his private library by the 13-year-old, Benny even begins to open himself up to a whole possibility of ideas when he reads “Great Expectations” and is able to make connections between the book and the gangster films he knows by heart. Other gangsters say that Benny has “got religion” and they are angered and distressed when he decides to stop selling drugs altogether. They put a large contract out on Benny’s life.

Benny, Bobby and Laddie have become extremely close, almost like a family, but the pressures of the contract create tension and he and Bobby argue on several occasions. One night in Benny’s limo, Bobby gets upset and takes off into the street. He is captured by other gangsters and used as a bargaining chip to get Benny. When Benny decides to go to the cops and be an informant in order to get Bobby back, he is murdered on the steps of the federal building. Bobby, being of little use or threat to other gangsters, is returned to the Keltners, where his life goes back to it’s previous miserable state.

Some months later, however, he receives a strange phone call. While the Keltners are out on the town, enjoying the winnings of a local drawing of some kind, Bobby grabs some stuff and heads to the airport, where a ticket is waiting to take him to Scottsdale, AZ. He is met in AZ by Laddie and Benny (whose murder was a phony organized by the feds) who are now married and legit as part of the Witness Protection Program. The three re-begin their lives together as a for-real family. Meanwhile, back in Queens, Benny has arranged for the Keltners house to be encased in cement. This is their come-uppance.

		Excellent	Good	Fair	Poor
	Premise/idea		X
RECOMMENDATION:	Characterization		X
Script: CONSIDER	Dialogue		X
Writer: CONSIDER	Story Line			X

COMMENTS: The letter that accompanies BOBBY AND THE CZAR, the story of a precocious orphan boy befriended by a local gangster, describes it as MARRIED TO THE MOB meets OLIVER TWIST and it is a fairly apt description. There is something lively to all of the piece’s characters and an old fashionedfeel to the story that makes it at once charming and funny. The piece leaves behind the cocky kids who need to learn a lesson and turns it around somewhat, allowing the kid to teach the adult a thing or two.

There’s something very “classic Hollywood” about a story of an orphan boy and a gangster. As played out in this script, it comes off as quite appealing. The majority of Hollywood films that have kids as main characters have a tendency to portray them as either cute little urchins or hellspawn. This kind of a construction would ruin the underpinnings of the screenplay, but the writer avoids such pitfalls entirely.

So it is the characters in the piece that make the premise work. The three leads― Benny, Bobby and Laddie― are all drawn in detail and each one plays off the other in a believable and entertaining fashion. Bobby’s reaction to his lousy position in life has been to cultivate himself and to have compassion for others. Benny and Laddie have followed different paths, living by the adage that one must take what one wants when he is not in a position to receive it freely (ie; gangsterhood). All three characters have important things to teach each other and all three are sharp as tacks. The writer seems to have a flair for character-driven dialogue, especially the banter that occurs between people who care about each other. Again, there is a charming “classic Hollywood” quality to the words that flow from the mouths of the piece’s players.

The story line focuses on different characters getting drawn into different worlds and changing those worlds upon entering them. Bobby changes Benny’s world with his ideas about morality. Benny changes Bobby’s world with his ideas about confidence and standing up for yourself. Laddie changes the lives of both of these boys with her understanding of people. All of these changes have serious repercussions because of what Benny does for a living and the danger of the story becomes the question of how Benny can extricate himself from his lifestyle once his outlook has changed. Although the happy ending is eventually reached, it works storywise. The audience should be quite satisfied at how the lousy Keltners get theirs.

BOBBY AND THE CZAR is essentially a kids picture that will appeal to adults as well. The character of the czar could benefit from the work of someone like Chazz Palmentieri while any number of good child actors could take on the role of precocious Bobby. The film is a potential crowd pleaser that would not promise to be excessively expensive to make. If you’re looking for a charming comedy/drama, this script is worth taking a look at. CONSIDER.